The slow days of winter are seeing their season. Though, this year seems much different from the last according to the still vibrant oak and maple trees in the Shire. Perhaps it is because just as you think the sunny days have disappeared altogether, they return with such glory that you are warmed straight through to the soul.
My long days commuting to work are a gift as the plateau has delivered the most remarkable of sights. I have come to see the plateau as not beautiful, but rather, as beauty itself. It is a place that revives my spirit and reminds me how grand life really is! Catalyzing moments like this make all the difference to my gloomy winter mood and I'm-so-over-this perspective.
We tried our best to prepare ourselves that living off-grid during winter would not be easy, but it has been a hard lesson none-the-less. Clouds cause the solar to be finicky and we rely greatly on our generators. Bitter cold mornings, where frost covers Rose Cotton's thin windows and my breath creates puffs of vapor, have required every bit of grit I can muster. Paul jokes that I only have a 15-degree tolerance for any kind of weather. He is likely right. I do not fare well in cold temperatures.
The other day, I was thinking about love in a rather complex way. The researcher in me wants to understand where it resides within us, and why and how it changes. One would think that all the love we feel across a lifetime would cause us to burst with it! Yet, it seems we have some sort of psychological container wherein we store it all; lost love, forgotten love, destroyed love, hurtful love, resentful love, and enduring love. I tell myself a powerful story about love and yet, I don't fully understand it. It is strange to think that at one time, I was considered a love and intimacy expert and spoke about my theories and love-models to eager ears and minds.
One day, Rivendell will house a studio for me. I will build it overlooking both the pasture and the Shire's treetops. I will spend my days writing and overthinking simple things, while I listen to happy animals, a creek flowing, and the Shire's ever-present bird song. There, I will unravel the mystery of love.
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